This girl, Megan, my sister that is younger than me by two years, has effectively ruined parts of my life.
When I was in primary school, I was very very very sensitive and over-emotional. God, I was such a prat. Megan bullied me a lot, and made me do things for her all the time. It was either I did whatever she wanted or I cried. And when my parents would ask what happened, I always made something up, like I tripped over or something. I don’t know why. And the times I did tell them that Megan was hurting me, they wouldn’t believe me becuase “She would have no reason to do such a thing and has been helping us all week while you’ve just sat at home and done nothing.”
Intermediate wasn’t much different. I didn’t have to run away from her at school like I used to because I went to a different school. She still bullied me a lot. But when she would pick me up after school, all of my friends (And when I say all, I mean all) would go running towards her, squealing about how she was so cute and adorable. She played her part, emmitting a high pitched, “Awww, thank you~! >///<” Some of my friends actually just started tallking to me so they could fangirl about Megan afterwards. Megan would always smirk at me. Always.
And now, dear God. She makes fun of everything I do. When I made a video, she found it on my computer and still taunts me about it to this day. If I tell her i think a guy in my class is good-looking, she’ll go tell my friends, even though I make it very clear that I want no one else to know. After I cut my hair, she wouldn’t stop calling me a boy or making fun of how ‘manly’ I looked. I don’t mind being mistaken as a boy by people, but she takes it way too far.
I know that these don’t seem like much, but they are very big in my life right now, and I want her to stop, to stop this.
And when she doesn’t, I’ll feel like hitting her. But I don’t want it to come to that.
You may not know this but I am very much into photography. I love taking photos of anything and everything, and I take a lot of pride in the photos that I take. It’s probably the only thing I take pride in.
My cousin keeps putting up my photos on facebook and on her blogs, and says that the photos were taken by her, but they were taken by ME! People comment on what a brilliant job shes done and it upsets me so bloody much.
But I can’t just ask her to take them down. She’s practically my sister, and I don’t want to cause a rift between us. She’ll think I’m taking it too seriously or whatever.
But it’s really upsetting to know that something I’m very proud of has been taken away by someone else.
In it, I was in an amusement park with about 3 other boys, I think they were my friends in the dream, but I didn’t see their faces. We were rollerskating around the park, and I skated next to one of the boys.
Then our hands became entwined, and I had the feeling that I really liked him. We had our hands like that for the rest of the dream, and it felt good. It felt nice.
This is from the Dream Dictionary:
To dream that you are holding hands with someone represents love, affection and your connection with that person.
But, as I said before, I didn’t see the boy’s face.
It made me realise how lonely I am LOL. I mean, I’ve never gone out with anyone before. There have been a few people who have asked me out, but they haven’t really felt ‘right’, if that makes any sense. I mean, the first person who you date should be someone special, not some random you don’t know in your music class right?
Maybe I’m just being picky. Maybe I’m just overly shy. I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter now, though. I’m not going to even have a single chance with anyone since I cut my hair. No guy wants to go out with a ‘girl that looks like a boy’.
Oh Jess, you stupid, stupid girl.
I just got back from a ‘holiday’ with dad’s side of the family. God it was so awkward and weird and asdfghjkl T-T
Anyway, happy new years! Let’s hope for the best in 2012 :)
This is, like, the coolest thing ever. I’m looking through my dash on a fancy pants touch screen! Brilliant!
William just said that my haircut looks nice.
I’m so relieved now haha!
